Dave Chappelle hosted Saturday Night Live after the election tonight after President-Elect Joe Biden and President-Elect Kamala Harris delivered their victory speeches in Wilmington, Delaware after defeating President Donald Trump. The comedian also moderated the SNL’s post-presidential episode in 2016.
In his monologue, Chappelle said
Thank you all for being here. Pretty incredible day. You know what I was thinking about all day. It’s really strange. First of all I’m nervous.
I was thinking about a person that I’ve never actually met, but who I’ve heard about all my life. I was thinking about my great-grandfather, who was apparently a very tall man. He was born a slave in South Carolina. He was a slave for 10 years of his life. And when the Yankees came down, they started raising some of the newly liberated black children, and he learned to read.
He was in love with education and dedicated his life to three things: Education, black freedom, Jesus Christ. This is a pretty amazing story my great-grandfather had, and I thought about him all day long because I wish I could see him now. I wish he could see me, because I wonder what he would say. This week I flew to New York on a private jet to host Saturday Night Live. Netflix started streaming a show that bears his name, the Chappelle Show, and HBO Max is streaming it, and I wasn’t paid for any of it. If he could see me now, he’d probably say, “That N-word has been bought and sold more than me.
This morning, after the results came in, I received a text from a friend of mine in London. And she said: “The world feels like a safe place. Now that America has a new president.” And I said, “That’s great, but America doesn’t have one.” Do you guys remember what life was like before COVID? I remember. There was a mass shooting every week. Anybody remember that? Thank God for COVID. Some had to lock up those murdering whites and keep them in the house all summer long.
You know what I did? I did shows in Ohio. I live in a small town in Ohio. And many small towns in America died. My town was dying. So I was doing shows in my neighbor’s cornfield. And those shows were very successful and maybe even helped save the city, and that’s something.
Local farmers, my neighbors, started complaining that my shows were too loud… in a cornfield! Too loud in a cornfield. I would hold a whole town meeting about how loud I was in a cornfield.
It was so embarrassing. I resented it. I resented that those farmers in the countryside could decide the fate of a guy like me. People didn’t deserve that. They haven’t seen enough, they don’t know anything. They are probably watching me right now. At home they probably say: “Hello, come quickly, come quickly. Those from the grocery store are on TV. No, stupid, the guy from the TV is in the grocery store. He’s the kind of guy who probably has an account at farmersonly.com. Have you ever heard of the farmersonly.com website? The kind of website that raises the question: What kind of b***h only hits farmers?
That is disgusting. They had a whole zoom session on me. I wasn’t talking at the meeting, I was just listening, and they were talking about me and saying, “Man, I’m trying to put my kids to bed and I hear this guy screaming all night. My kids are trying to sleep, and all they hear is the N-word.” I said, “Well, I said it, but were you?”
He had this tingling in his voice. You know when you hear that clicking sound and you think, “Oh, I know he’s not wearing his mask.” I don’t know why poor white people don’t wear masks. What is the problem? They’re wearing a mask at a Klan rally. Wear it at a Walmart too.
In a state like Ohio, for example, people make more money from their stimulus programs than when they work, so many people don’t want to work. You know what that reminds me of? Ronald Reagan. Remember what Ronald Reagan used to say about black people? That we’re on welfare? That we’re drug addicts. Who does that sound like to you now? Irritation testing, heroin, the rest of the country is trying to get ahead, and these white N-words keep holding us back.
You won’t even wear your mask because it’s depressing… try wearing the mask I’ve been wearing all these years