Jimmy Kimmel and Ted Cruz Trade Insults Over Army Remarks
Following Ted Cruz’s remarks about the US Army being “emasculated,” Jimmy Kimmel and Ted Cruz have engaged in a verbal spat.
The late-night host and the lawmaker have had a long-running rivalry, with the two often exchanging vicious barbs about their opposing political views.
Cruz lauded the Russian military this weekend, prompting backlash, and Kimmel did not hold back in his Monday night monologue.
Cruz provided insight by retweeting a side-by-side comparison of a Russian military recruitment ad and a recent US Army commercial that illustrated Cpl. Emma Malonelord’s true story.
He initially tweeted, “Maybe a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea…” before later retracting and saying, “Democrats and woke media are trying to transform [the military]into pansies.”
The drama was then demonstrated to Kimmel’s Monday night viewers.
“This is emasculating, says Ted Cruz, who took up permanent residence up the a** of a man who beat him in every election by calling his wife hideous and slandering his elderly father four years ago “Kimmel cracked a joke.
“First and foremost, because Ted Cruz is a sticky, gelatinous tubeworm whose elastic band pants are packed with an inky discharge every time he talks.”
“Perhaps this is more Ted’s speed,” Kimmel continued, as he displayed a fake ad of Cruz flying to Cancun during the Texas Freeze with the caption: “Army. “Be the best you can be.”
“Army,” he says. Cancun, be everything you want to be. Is that correct?” Kimmel went on. “I’ll tell you something, for a guy named Ted, he gives the worst talks.”
Shortly after the episode aired, Cruz hit back at Kimmel on Twitter and challenged the comedian to a basketball rematch.
“@JimmyKimmelLive keeps talking crap. Really tough guy,” Cruz wrote.
“Here’s a reminder, when we played one-on-one, I kicked his ass. He has to live with that…forever. Rematch, punk?”
Cruz shared a link to a charity match the two played in 2018 for Texas Children’s Hospital and Generation One, a Houston-based education non-profit.
However, Kimmel has since hit back with a more cutting response, writing: “Oh Ted… you get so sad after you masturbate.”
Oh Ted… you get. This is a brief summary.